When you conjure a mental image of shower sex, it’s probably a bit cinematic. Considering most of us lived through the glory days of rom-com sex scenes, it likely looks like two people thrusting and kissing passionately under a flow of water, hot steam rising out from above the sliding glass door as the camera pans out to the rest of bathroom and its newly-renovated veneer. But I wonder: Has anyone ever actually had good shower sex that’s so perfect and polished?
It’s more likely that real shower sex looks like mascara running down your cheeks, having a ton of fun soaping up your partner, and experiencing intimacy like a real human that can laugh through the messy bits. Because let’s clear something up: Water is not a lubricant, and the architecture of some showers are a cramped accident waiting to happen.
When trying shower sex, sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, CSE, sexpert for Lovers, recommends skipping extra romantic touches like lit candles or any electronics nearby. “The last thing you want is an injury during a sexy moment,” she tells SheKnows. “Also, consider installing a grab bar or safety bar in the shower. While these are typically used by older adults or people with disabilities, they’re also great for maintaining balance and staying upright. A shower stool or chair can add comfort and further reduce the risk of slips or falls.” Because, as Angie Rowntree, founder and director of the ethical porn site, Sssh.com, points out, the last thing you want to do is latch onto the shower curtain, shower rod, or any bathroom fixture for balance. “No one wants bodily injury or a potential plumbing disaster,” she tells SheKnows.
Shower sex can add a new, more intense flavor to your relationship — all it takes is stepping under the stream and letting things get slippery. “Shower sex lends itself to both spontaneity and practicality,” says Rowntree. “If busy schedules make it hard to find time for intimacy, it can be the perfect way to start your day or to unwind and reconnect at night. The heat and steam naturally put you in a more sensual, receptive state — and instead of worrying about post-work or post-gym sweat, lathering each other up (in more ways than one) rinses those concerns away.”
Intrigued? Keep reading for our favorite accessible shower sex positions.
The ballerina
How to do it: Think of this shower version of missionary, because it’s a great go-to front-facing position that still gets you hot-and-bothered.
With you and your partner both standing, hitch your leg around their hip, or prop one foot on the edge of the tub or shower stool (to keep things sturdy). From here, your partner can enter you, introduce a waterproof vibrator, tease you with a detachable shower head, or whatever the mood calls for.
What makes it great: “The front-facing nature of this position allows for great intimacy and upper body contact, not to mention it’s beautiful and visually arousing to see each other dripping wet,” Rowntree says. “It is also versatile enough to allow you to use your favorite waterproof toys–or special showerhead. Just make sure you don’t skimp on the lube, because the water overhead can wash away your natural wetness.”
Soggy doggy
How to do it: Soggy doggy is a slight twist on the most classic standing doggy-style. Lean forward and brace your hands on the shower wall or floor for stability, with your knees slightly bent. You partner can penetrate you from behind, or reach forward to tease your clit or breasts. A non-slip bath mat can help support this position if any thrusts tend to be especially powerful.
What makes it great: If you love rear-entry penetration, Rowntree says this is the way to do it safely in the shower. “In addition to the G-spot and clitoral stimulation that rear-entry vaginal sex offers, this position may also appeal to partners who enjoy anal play or anal sex,” she explains.
Sit and ride
How to do it: When having shower sex, you want to have fun and not overthink it, but there are some logistics to consider. To make sure you’re not stuck in a compromising and wet situation, this position allows you and your partner to sit on the floor, so there’s no slipping or falling.
Have your partner sit on the tub floor and straddle them in whatever position you like — and you guessed it — then simply take a ride on top. This allows for clitoral access, G-spot stimulation, and the ability to pull your partner even closer, all while being immersed in a warm flow of water.
What makes it great: “Instead of risking a ‘slip and slide,’ the ‘Sit and Ride’ gives you the frills of cowgirl sex (i.e. you control penetration, increased clitoral contact) with minimal risk,” Rowntree says. “That said, depending on how committed you are to aquatic adventures, you might want to explore getting a waterproof cushion for your partner (as he will be laying on the hard tile), or try a variation of this with him sitting up, braced comfortably against the shower wall. Either way, you can ride him dirty while you both get nice and clean, so it’s a win-win.”
Oral waterfall
How to do it: That’s a pretty sexy name, right? When there’s not a lot of space to get creative, a little oral never fails.
For this position, stand and face the shower head, or sit on a shower stool if you have one available. Your partner can kneel in front of you and please you with their mouth, adding fingers or a rumbly waterproof sex toy for extra fun, all while the warm shower water cascades over both of you (hint: that’s where the waterfall part comes in). Ask your partner to take turns, so they can enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.
What makes it great: “The biggest benefit of this position is you have the ability to be comfortable while being safe,” Stewart says. “The last thing we want to think about is our knees buckling as we get to orgasm, so having that shower stool or grab bar is going to be clutch when you’re in this position and the more relaxed we feel, we know that it’s more likely for us to have an orgasm. For the person on their knees, grabbing a shower pillow is great for the knees, allowing you to be comfortable and sustain that position for a while.”
Back to basics
How to do it: If penetration and the ultimate task of shower sex isn’t your thing, don’t worry, because those positions don’t cover a fraction of all the ways you can have fun — there are other ways to enjoy a sexy shower moment with your partner, from scrubbing each other’s bodies to mutual masturbation.
An easy way to please? Play with yourselves while kissing or watch each other masturbate. Stand behind your partner and reach around them for a handy with silicone-based lubricant. If you’re feeling lazy, just have a steamy makeout session under the showerhead or lying in the tub.
What makes it great: “Mutual masturbation can be a great way to enjoy shower sex together. Not only would you probably increase your arousal state by masturbating together, but you’ll also be more likely to have an orgasm because you know what your body likes and not have to be dependent on a lover’s touch,” Stewart says. “This works great in the shower because if one of you happens to finish first, you can always help the other one get on their way by touching and kissing them.”
A version of this story was published November 2019.
Before you go, check out 69 sex positions you should add to your bucket list:
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