We all have our favorite, old reliables in our sex lives: that toy you’re obsessed with, the finisher move that drives your partner(s) crazy and the positions that efficiently get the job the done. But sometimes you want to shake things up. That’s normal.
After all, standard sex positions aren’t always optimal for everybody or every body — but that’s why you can modify and adjust these positions to hit the right spots (either with just a shift of your bodies or with the help of a good firm pillow or some sex furniture).
And no, modifying your sex position does not mean you’re doing anything wrong; in fact, it means that you’re prioritizing both your pleasure and comfort, and that’s always a turn-on. “Modified sex positions aren’t second-best; they’re a creative, body-savvy way to unlock more pleasure,” sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast Talk Sex With Annette, tells SheKnows. “You’re working with physical limitations, size differences, low energy, chronic pain, or just a desire to explore new sensations. Modifying a position lets you work with your body (and/or your partner’s), not against it.”
Plus, Benedetti adds, “no one’s body stays the same forever. Hormones shift, injuries happen, energy dips. Sometimes it’s not even about the body, it’s something as simple as the size of the bed, the location, the vibe of the moment, or a need for more connection than intensity.”
There are numerous ways to modify a sex position — but the big rule to follow is making sure you’re chasing what feels good and keeping you and your partner as comfortable as you want to feel.
“Modifications give you flexibility, comfort, and control in a way that standard positions just don’t always offer,” Benedetti says. “By adding a pillow under the hips, slowing the pace, or shifting the angle and suddenly you’re discovering spots, sensations, and levels of closeness you didn’t know were possible.”
To help, here’s a few of our favorite modified twists on your favorite sex positions.
Modified Missionary (The X)
What is it: There are countless ways to adjust and modify a missionary position (since it’s generally considered the most basic position in a person’s repertoire). This one is particularly great for folks looking to focus on just receiving pleasure and enjoying penetration: The X. In this position, the receiving partner lays back and spreads out like an X (feel free to add restraint play, if you’re into that) and the penetrating partner enters from the front, focusing their attention on that penetration.
Again, you can add a pillow to elevate your hips if you’d like — that can help you find the depth you’ve been looking for.
Why it’s great: According to Benedetti, this isn’t your basic missionary position. “It’s a wide-open invitation to receive,” she says. “In the X position, the receiving partner lies back with arms and legs spread out in an X shape. That open posture does more than just look hot; it physically opens the hips and pelvis, making it easier to access internal pleasure points like the G-spot and A-spot with less strain and more precision.”
It’s also a great modification for those who struggle with hip tightness or fatigue in standard missionary. “By widening the legs and relaxing into the mattress, the receiving partner can drop tension from the lower back and thighs, allowing for longer, more comfortable sessions with deeper penetration and greater body awareness,” Benedetti explains. And here’s where it gets kink-adjacent. According to Benedetti, the shape also naturally invites restraint play, wrists tied to the bedposts, a hand gently pinning the arms down, or simply the psychological thrill of being completely open and taken. “That edge of vulnerability activates the nervous system in all the right ways, increasing arousal and emotional intensity,” she explains.
Whether you want to go slow and sensual or deep and dominant, The X gives you full access to pleasure with a side of surrender that feels just as powerful.
Modified Doggie
What is it: A doggie-style position is always a crowd favorite for deep penetration and for folks that love that raw bestial feel of being on all fours. There are a few ways to modify your doggie, but a favorite is to have the receiving partner lay all the way down, leaning forward and spreading your legs instead of staying on all fours. You can feel free to add a pillow under that partner’s hips for comfort, better angles and have the penetrating partner enter from behind. This is great when the penetrating partner has maybe a shorter-length penis or toy to work with and allows for extra flush-together intimacy in each thrust. Woof.
Why it’s great: First of all, the comfort. “When the receiving partner lays flat on their stomach instead of staying on all fours, it instantly takes pressure off their wrists, shoulders, neck, and lower back, making it perfect for longer sessions or anyone with joint or mobility concerns,” Benedetti explains.
But make no mistake: this position is just as hot, if not hotter, than classic doggie, says Benedetti. “Flattening out creates a more grounded, controlled version of doggie-style that can feel more intimate or more intense, depending on how you use it,” she says. “Add a firm pillow under the hips, and you’re creating a tilt that allows for deeper penetration with less effort which is especially helpful if the penetrating partner is on the shorter side or using a toy.” Want more kink? Benedetti recommends hair-pulling, back arching, grabbing and pinning the wrists and whispering commands for dominance play.
Butterfly
What it is: A favorite for partners of very different heights, the Butterfly lets the receiving partner lay back on the bed/counter/sex-friendly surface of your choosing and their partner can enter while standing for a bit of extra power. While it can be adjusted for depth depending on how the receiving partner wants to position their legs, it can be modified in a few ways.
One: You can use a pillow or, if you’re an overachiever, the penetrating partner’s brute strength to lift the receiving partner’s hips (this adds a bit more difficulty, intensity and athleticism, if that’s what y’all like).
Two: Lazy butterfly necessitates picking a lower surface, but lets your penetrating partner use their knees (because standing can be a lot). Either way, you can thrust or grind with a good amount of control.
Why it’s great: “Butterfly is a power move for size-difference couples and anyone craving depth, control, and connection,” Benedetti explains. “With the receiving partner lying back on a bed, counter, or surface, legs open and hips slightly elevated by a pillow, this position tilts the pelvis to make internal hotspots like the G-spot or A-spot easier to reach with less effort and more precision.”
Additionally, this position is gentler on the lower back, which Benedetti says is ideal for long sessions, and can be incredibly versatile.
Spoon dog
What is it: Spooning sex is cuddly and intimate and warm. But you can dirty up your spoon by mixing it up with your doggie style technique. Get on your sides and instead of just relaxing against the penetrating partner’s chest, have the receiving partner lean forward with feet between their legs or at their thighs (not quite curled in a ball, but close) and have them enter from behind.
It’s a great way to get the depth and power of doggie with the lazy closeness of your favorite spoon (and you can always slide back into a softer position as you go — and we have to love that versatility.
Sex, like so many things, isn’t a one-size-fits-most endeavor. You’ll need to trial and error to discover the positions that feel right for your body and your partner’s body. But exploring and adjusting is half the fun.
Why it’s great: “Spoon Dog is one of the most underrated sex position upgrades,” Benedetti says. “It blends the deep, primal angle of doggie with the warmth and intimacy of spooning. Both partners lie on their sides, with the penetrating partner behind and the receiving partner slightly curled forward or resting one leg between the others’. It’s low-effort, high-impact, and full of erotic potential.”
The angle allows for deep, steady penetration, explains Benedetti, especially if the receiving partner tilts their hips forward or draws a leg higher to open access. “And here’s the key: the person in front can subtly control depth and intensity by shifting their hips, tightening their thighs, or adjusting leg positions, making it ideal for tuning into what feels good moment to moment,” she says.
And because it requires minimal physical strain, Bendetti says Spoon Dog is perfect when one or both of you are tired, sore, or craving something slower. “It’s the go-to position for lazy mornings, recovery days, or anytime you want to feel fully ravished without having to do the heavy lifting.”
Modified Cowgirl: The Hip Circle Ride (with Optional Elevation)
What is it: According to Benedetti, instead of bouncing up and down, the receiving partner stays low and uses slow, circular hip motions to grind against their partner. Think pelvis-to-pelvis connection, with intentional movement.
Why it’s great: “This modification is especially helpful for those with tight hip flexors, joint sensitivity, or conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, or postural instability,” she explains. “Using a wedge pillow or sex ramp under the receiving partner’s knees or behind their partner’s back shifts the angle, reduces strain on the legs, and allows the receiver to stay upright or lean forward comfortably without burning out. It essentially lifts the partner underneath, so you don’t have to work as hard to stay balanced or maintain clitoral pressure.”
Additionally, Benedetti says circular grinding creates consistent contact with the clitoris, pubic bone, or even a toy tucked between bodies, making it easier to build toward orgasm. “You’re also in full control of rhythm and depth, which is ideal if you’ve ever felt overstimulated, rushed, or unsure of how to ride.”
Modified Side-by-Side Missionary
What it is: Instead of one partner being on top, you’re both lying on your sides, facing each other. The receiving partner can drape one leg over the penetrating partner’s hip or let both legs stay low, whichever is more comfortable.
Why it’s great: This position is a game-changer for partners managing chronic pain, says Benedetti, including lower back issues, pelvic floor dysfunction, or fatigue from autoimmune conditions. “It removes the strain of full-body weight and helps both partners relax into the moment without losing intimacy,” she explains.
What makes this version so underrated, she says, is the access it offers. “With hands free and bodies aligned, there’s room for clitoral stimulation, toy play, nipple touch, or even a wand between you. You can grind slowly, hold each other close, and whisper through every movement, making it ideal for emotional connection and orgasmic focus.”
A version of this story was published September 2020.
Before you go, check out 69 more of our favorite sex positions to try before you die:
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